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Drink Your Carbs: The Drinker's Diet

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Recipe: Best F@#king Burger Ever

6/30/2019

2 Comments

 
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​In our home, burgers serve the same role that pizza delivery serves in the average American household; if we are tired, lazy or just feel like kicking back in front of a football game, we make burgers.

Of course, our version removes the bun and the fries in favor of wine and beer because we prefer to drink our carbs.

​Until a recent cooking mishap, we believed that we made damn good burgers. We were wrong. A fortunate accident set us straight. We now know how to make burgers so ridiculously good that they cause Tourette’s. Everyone who has tasted them has reacted similarly, “ Holy f@#k! I will never make normal burgers again.”


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Recipe: How To Make Perfect Kale

5/3/2018

1 Comment

 
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Hello. My name is Steven. I used to hate kale. Now I love it.

When did it become a virtue to never change your mind? Watch any recent political coverage and the conclusion is unavoidable. We, as a country, have decided that new information should have no impact on opinions and beliefs. If you abandon a single conviction you held in seventh grade, you’re a weak-minded flip-flopper. It doesn’t matter what life experiences you’ve had between then and now. New evidence be damned. Changing your mind for any reason betrays you as indecisive and lacking in backbone.

Go ahead and accuse me of being un-American. I have flip flopped on kale.
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I used to think that kale was far too bitter. It turns that my dislike of kale had everything to do with how it was prepared. The minute I tasted Andrea’s kale it became my favorite vegetable. Andrea and I are now in complete agreement that kale is the world’s most perfect vegetable. It’s low-calorie and high-nutrition. It’s delicious. It is the perfect compliment to any Drink Your Carbs meal.


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The New York Times Endorses Drinking and Dieting . . .

2/18/2018

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We recently discovered an article we had missed. Last year, the New York Times weighed in on dieting and alcohol. Their conclusion was the same as ours: they are fully compatible as long as your calories in don’t exceed your calories expended. They don’t mention us by name, but their suggestions are eerily similar to our Food List and Exercise Recommendations.

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Smoke Your Carbs

1/2/2018

 
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In the aftermath of the legalization of marijuana in California, a friend asked if Drink Your Carbs would be an effective diet for the average weed smoker. Our answer is absolutely. Assuming said smoker is willing to stick to the DYC Food List, it should be more effective than it is for drinkers.


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Holiday Party Survival Guide

11/22/2017

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Can you hold our drinks while we go up to the podium to collect our Nobel Prize?
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“Ladies and gentlemen of the Selection Committee, esteemed colleagues and people who snuck in here because they heard about the open bar. This is a huge surprise. Neither of us are doctors. We have only one advanced degree between us. Steven has a Masters degree in Godzilla. Hardly the background from which one expects recognition on this level . . .”


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Old Diet Books Say The Darndest Things

10/16/2017

 
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Some people collect stamps and coins. Others fill their homes with old records and vintage toys. There is a man who lives just down the street from us who we’ve been told has a world-class collection of cut glass poodles. He keeps a few on display on a windowsill, but we have yet to be invited in to view the full collection. We have a childhood friend whose mother has filled her house with Lladró figures of children dancing and playing which look like overgrown pieces from a Norman Rockwell themed chess set.
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For us to belittle other people’s collections would be hypocritical. We have so many collections that we can barely track them all. Our shelves are crowded with antique jars, espresso cups and Godzilla toys dating from Steven’s childhood. Hidden in various locations, including under the bed, are seven ukuleles, three guitars, a clarinet and a Theremin. We store enough wine on site that we could stop buying today and last three years. We are truly the Imelda Marcos of athletic equipment, with two surfboards, four bikes, three sets of skis, skateboards, weight vests and more pairs of running shoes than a mid-sized track team. We are also diet book junkies. We cannot walk past a used bookstore without checking out what crazy diet books they have on hand.


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The Effects Of Alcohol On Post-Exercise Recovery

6/30/2017

 
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We do not promote binge drinking. We do not binge drink. We have, however, occasionally gone beyond our own healthy drinking guidelines. It is far from a regular occurrence. When it has happened, it is almost always following a particularly long and intense workout. On the theory that “we earned the extra calories,” we allow ourselves to call for one more round.

We recently came across several new studies that forced us to rethink our behavior. It turns out that the aftermath of a killer workout is exactly the wrong time to indulge. The days when we hit the gym the hardest are days that we should be the most restrained.
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Don’t take this wrong. We still believe that alcohol is fully compatible with serious athletics. In fact, in lesser quantities it may benefit recovery. The key appears to be dosage. But we are getting ahead of ourselves. We will let the research tell the story.


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Recipe: Drink Your Carbs Brownies

5/18/2017

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Full Disclosure: These brownies are not 100 percent Drink Your Carbs compliant. The Basic Drink Your Carbs diet eliminates both maple syrup and honey. When it comes to sweeteners, Drink Your Carbs is more restrictive than Paleo or pretty much any other diet we’ve seen. Our reasoning is simple. If we want to continue drinking alcohol, we have to cut calories elsewhere. Eliminating sweeteners is the easiest and most efficient way to accomplish this.
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If we want something to finish a meal, our choice is invariably another glass of wine, beer or an occasional Scotch. But even we bust out this recipe for special occasions. If we plan to make dessert for a party, these are our go to choice.


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100 Calories A Day?

4/12/2017

 
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1957 was a momentous year in American culture. Wham-O introduced the Frisbee. Dr. Seuss published The Cat in the Hat. The Brooklyn Dodgers moved from New York to Los Angeles, a betrayal that Steven’s Brooklyn-born father is still bitter about. On the political front, Congress authorized the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention to inconvenience Americans by conducting a yearly survey of their health and lifestyle.
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The pattern the CDC has since established is to publish new statistics monthly. The media then takes those figures and converts them into alarming headlines. Numbers showing that obesity continues to trend upward become, “Average American Now Shaped Like Michelin Man.”


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Recipes: Three Awesome Salad Dressings

1/5/2017

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"You’re going to have to eat that salad if you want dessert." Growing up in Steven’s house, a plate of leafy greens was viewed as a punishment. Each of the kids was required to consume at least a few pieces of iceberg lettuce drowning in bottled ranch dressing. Steven, in particular, responded to it as though he was being asked to eat a live cockroach.

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Contrast this with Andrea’s house. There was no iceberg lettuce or store-bought dressing sweetened with high-fructose corn syrup and pumped full of chemicals to increase the shelf life. Her family assembled salads of fresh romaine, tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots and other vegetables served lightly dressed in a homemade dressing.
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Throughout the long Colorado summers, Andrea and her siblings would pick fresh greens and vegetables from their garden and then fight over who got to wash and cut them. The downside of all of this “kitchen help” was that someone was invariably served a slug.


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This website is intended solely for people of legal drinking age and is provided for informational and educational purposes only. Consult a physician before making changes to your diet and/or fitness program. Terms and Conditions. Privacy Policy.
  • Blog
  • What
    • How Diets Work
    • Why Are Americans Fat?
    • Are You Joking?
    • Travel
    • History of Drinkers Diets
  • Eat
    • Basic Drink Your Carbs >
      • Maintenance
      • Grading Your Performance
      • How To Cheat On Your Diet
      • Calories In Deep-Frying
      • What About Gluten And Dairy?
    • Austerity Mode
    • Nightmare Mode >
      • 30-Day Nightmare Mode Experiment
    • Food List >
      • Basic Drink Your Carbs Food List
      • Austerity Mode Food List
      • Nightmare Mode Food List
    • Recipes
  • Drink
    • How Much Can I Drink?
    • Artificial Sweeteners
    • Sports Drinks
    • Don't Drive Drunk
    • Cocktail Recipes
  • Sweat
    • Basic Exercise
    • Advanced Exercise
    • Insane Exercise
    • Advice From Coach Hector
  • Praise
    • 30-Day Challenge
    • Stache Hardbody
    • Share Your Story
  • Who
    • Menu Logo
    • Join the Mailing List
    • Contact Us
  • Buy
    • Drink Your Carbs Terms of Use
    • Drink Your Carbs Privacy Policy
    • Drink Your Carbs Logo License