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Drink Your Carbs: The Drinker's Diet

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A Practical Guide To Cheating On Your Diet

2/26/2020

 
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We just returned from a trip to the East Coast. We visited friends in New London, New Hampshire. Then we attended a wedding on Cape Cod. The trip was fabulous. The weather was mostly sunny and warm. The wedding took place on a beautiful stretch of beach, no one was pregnant and both the bride and groom looked happy to be there. The trip was a success in every way but one.

We won’t candy coat this. From a dietary perspective, we cheated more often in the past week than we did in the previous three months combined. This dietary lapse, however, did not come as a surprise. We knew that would fall off our diet and exercise routine even before we purchased our tickets. When it comes to divining the future, Uri Geller and Sylvia Brown can only dream of such certainty.

Our not-so-psychic premonition left us with two choices. We could act surprised when our diets faltered and return home to a week of self-loathing and Nightmare Mode. Or, we could plan ahead and perform the DYC equivalent to the Polio Booster. We opted for immunization.


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Top Five Places to Eat Low Carb in San Francisco

10/3/2014

 
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Is it even possible to be a foodie while avoiding sugar and simple carbs? We frequently ask ourselves this question while playing Twenty Questions with the wait staff in an upscale restaurant.

“Is the lamb sweet or savory?” “Are there croutons on the salad?” “How about if we tell you what we don’t eat and you order for us?”

Nearly every chef we have encountered will modify dishes if asked nicely. We occasionally take advantage of this, but we prefer to eat dishes as designed. We eat out because we want to try new foods and new preparations.

More often than not, we have to scour menus for the single dish that most closely mirrors our diet. Occasionally, we discover a great restaurant where ordering low carb is not only easy, it can be done without feeling like you are sacrificing anything.


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Talking Turkey (Also Italy and Greece)

8/28/2014

 
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“How much hairspray does it take to make a McDonald’s Big Mac look edible?”

Our fellow travellers and tasters on our Culinary Tour of Istanbul were the famed food photographers Nancy and Chris Cassidy. Among other projects, they do nearly all of the mouthwatering photography for the Rick Bayless empire. It’s unlikely that they have ever photographed a Big Mac, but we couldn’t resist asking. For the first and possibly only time in our lives, we were sitting across from people who could answer this time-honored question.
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Chris shook his head, clearly indicating that our question was a stupid one. “You can’t do that any more,” he said. “There are still tricks you can use, but everything in the photograph has to be part of the actual dish.”

We would’ve been less shocked if he had told us that the process involved medical waste extruded through a 3D printer. The last thing we expected to learn on our trip was that the fast food pictured in advertisements contained even a small percentage of actual food.


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​Travel Case Study: Antarctica

3/4/2014

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​We took Drink Your Carbs to the bottom of the world to test it in one of the harshest environments on Earth.

​While planning our expedition, we imagined ourselves as modern day Shackletons surviving only through a combination of wits, seal blubber and cask-strength whiskey.
 
As it turns out, this lifestyle is now prohibited under the Antarctic Treaty. These days, visiting is more like being transported into an episode of the Love Boat in which Puerto Vallarta has been replaced by a frozen continent. In our case, the role of Captain Stubing was played by a former Russian naval commander with a gruff demeanor that presumably concealed a heart of gold. Charo was played by a balding Canadian named Scott.
 
In other words, instead of hauling a wooden sledge through chest-deep snow, we did our trekking from a balcony suite on the Ocean Diamond, a Quark Expeditions luxury ship. 


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DYC Goes To Asia – Part 2

5/1/2013

 
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[You may want to start here: DYC Goes to Asia Part 1]

As we mentioned last week, there is still a question which must be answered: if people in Hong Kong and Japan eat tons of high-carb white rice as well a lot of sweets, why don’t they have the same obesity problem we have in America?

We believe the answer lies in calories in vs. calories out. All weight gain or loss is directly tied to this formula. If you eat more than you burn, you put on weight. If you burn more than you consume, your friends start throwing veiled compliments like, “My God, Stan. Where’s the rest of you?”
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There are several factors we observed on our trip that we think dramatically reduce the calories taken in on a typical day in Asia. We will begin with a factor that’s nearly absent in America: surgical masks. Huge numbers of people on the street in Hong Kong and Japan wear surgical masks everywhere they go. To Americans, it gives the streetscape a uniquely post-apocalyptic feel. At the same time, we must admit that it makes snacking more difficult.


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DYC Goes To Asia – Part 1

4/25/2013

 
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Remember how we told you that the world wasn’t going to end in 2012? Turns out that we may not have been entirely right. We just returned from Japan where we saw, with our own eyes, the chilling scene of people in cages feeding monkeys who roam free. It’s a clear harbinger of the apocalypse, although it is worth acknowledging that it has nothing to do with the Mayan calendar. Evidently, Armageddon will look more like the Planet of the Apes.

If you have a bottle of wine you’ve been saving, now is an excellent time to pop the cork. You’re also going to want to spend some time in front of a mirror practicing the words, “Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!” If you giggle, even nervously, it will be interpreted as a sign of weakness by our simian overloads.
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Knowledge of the coming monkey rebellion—we assume it will be referred to as the Monkeypocalypse—is not all we brought back from our trip. We also learned that staying on DYC is more than a little difficult in cultures with rice-based cuisines, particularly when we don’t know enough of the local language to say, “Extra veggies, no rice.”


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The Sixth Taste: Numbing

4/17/2013

 
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Perhaps the four most frightening words we’ve ever heard spoken are, “No, no. Not spicy.” We were sitting in Chili Fagara, a small Sichuan Chinese restaurant in Hong Kong just a few blocks away from the Cat Street market. We’d just polished off the last of an appetizer called Dumplings in Chili Sauce which was essentially pork-filled ravioli floating in a thick stew of bubbling red chili oil. It was the single spiciest food either of us had ever tasted. We were on fire. We were visibly soaked in sweat. No quantity of beer seemed able to quench the burn. We grew up in Colorado. We pride ourselves on being able to handle spice. If this restaurant considered this dish “not spicy,” we were in serious trouble.
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The waitress must have seen panic on our faces. She smile softly and added, “Not spicy, numbing.” And she was absolutely correct. It took a moment to realize it, but our mouths weren’t on fire at all. The sensation we were feeling was more akin to having your foot fall asleep or licking a nine-volt battery. For the first time in our lives, we were experiencing numbness. It turns out that there’s a sixth taste about which we we’d never heard.


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DYC Goes To Hong Kong

3/29/2013

 
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Exiting a subway car in Hong Kong during rush hour is as close as we will ever come to the experience of Coho Salmon swimming upstream to spawn. The train doors open and a wall of people rush in. If you want off before the final stop, your only option is to lower your head and power forward into the wave. Above all else, never stop moving. If you stall, even momentarily, the momentum of workers desperate to get home from work will drag you back onto the train. Perhaps a better analogy would be defeating the pass rush of the Baltimore Ravens.


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​Travel Case Study: Crete, Greece

10/19/2012

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We are adventurous eaters. Aside from a few obvious restrictions from allergies and Drink Your Carbs, pretty much anything else is fair game. If we’re travelling and the local delicacy is squirrel heads our only question is: “How are they prepared?” As long as they aren’t battered, fried or drowned in a cream sauce, we’re all over it.
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Of all of the foods we’ve been fortunate to try, the most perfect Drink Your Carbs food we have ever come across was Meat Cooked in the Manner of Thieves on the Greek island of Crete. Whole, salted fish-on-a-stick in Kyoto, Japan was a close second, but it just can’t compete when it comes to backstory.


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​Travel Case Study: New York, New York

6/15/2012

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There are few feelings worse than the mix of horror and disgust you get when something drips on you from above while you’re walking down a sidewalk in New York. It may be just condensation from a window mounted air conditioner. We always assume these drips are either an experimental virus carelessly spilled from an unlicensed medical laboratory or some hideous comic-book style mutagen.

​It’s bad enough that no one in New York cleans up after their dog, leaving the entire city littered with landmines. Some days, navigating the three blocks from our Chelsea apartment to the subway was like walking from South Korea into North Korea through the DMZ. The minute we focused our attention on the ground, the assault began from above.


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  • Blog
  • What
    • How Diets Work
    • Why Are Americans Fat?
    • Are You Joking?
    • Travel
    • History of Drinkers Diets
  • Eat
    • Basic Drink Your Carbs >
      • Maintenance
      • Grading Your Performance
      • How To Cheat On Your Diet
      • Calories In Deep-Frying
      • What About Gluten And Dairy?
    • Austerity Mode
    • Nightmare Mode >
      • 30-Day Nightmare Mode Experiment
    • Food List >
      • Basic Drink Your Carbs Food List
      • Austerity Mode Food List
      • Nightmare Mode Food List
    • Recipes
  • Drink
    • How Much Can I Drink?
    • Artificial Sweeteners
    • Sports Drinks
    • Don't Drive Drunk
    • Cocktail Recipes
  • Sweat
    • Basic Exercise
    • Advanced Exercise
    • Insane Exercise
    • Advice From Coach Hector
  • Praise
    • 30-Day Challenge
    • Stache Hardbody
    • Share Your Story
  • Who
    • Menu Logo
    • Join the Mailing List
    • Contact Us
  • Buy
    • Drink Your Carbs Terms of Use
    • Drink Your Carbs Privacy Policy
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