Surely You Must Be Joking
We never intended to write a diet book. Drink Your Carbs began as a joke. In many ways, it is still a joke. It just happens to be a joke diet that works.
Drink Your Carbs began back in 2008 with a friendly competition between co-author Steven and his childhood friend Chris. They were both approaching 40 and, like most of their peers, had begun to put on weight. Chris was the first to declare he wanted to reverse the trend. More specifically, Chris wanted six-pack abs. He wanted to be ripped and he wanted it to happen before his 39th birthday. That way he could cruise into 40 in the best shape of his life.
Chris was in no way obese. He had somewhere between 15 and 20 pounds to lose. The magic of a six pack is that you have no idea at what weight it will suddenly appear, or if it will appear at all. Visible abdominal muscles are very much genetic. The only way to find out if it’s in your DNA is to slim down.
Chris had four months to meet his goal. The timeline was aggressive. It would not be easy, but Chris knew that if he stayed disciplined, four months would be more than enough time to lose the spare tire that he had spent most of a decade building.
When Chris called Steven to share his plan, the conversation went something like this:
Drink Your Carbs began back in 2008 with a friendly competition between co-author Steven and his childhood friend Chris. They were both approaching 40 and, like most of their peers, had begun to put on weight. Chris was the first to declare he wanted to reverse the trend. More specifically, Chris wanted six-pack abs. He wanted to be ripped and he wanted it to happen before his 39th birthday. That way he could cruise into 40 in the best shape of his life.
Chris was in no way obese. He had somewhere between 15 and 20 pounds to lose. The magic of a six pack is that you have no idea at what weight it will suddenly appear, or if it will appear at all. Visible abdominal muscles are very much genetic. The only way to find out if it’s in your DNA is to slim down.
Chris had four months to meet his goal. The timeline was aggressive. It would not be easy, but Chris knew that if he stayed disciplined, four months would be more than enough time to lose the spare tire that he had spent most of a decade building.
When Chris called Steven to share his plan, the conversation went something like this:
Chris: I’m doing it. Washboard abs in four months. I’m upping the intensity of my workouts. I’ll do two-a-days, cardio in the morning, weights in the afternoon. I’m also cutting all the carbs out of my diet.
Steven: I hear your challenge and I accept. I’ll do the same. We’ll meet somewhere in December, run a half marathon and at the finish shirts come off.
Chris: I’m also going to stop drinking.
Steven: What!? Why would you do that?
Chris: You have to cut the carbs if you want to lose weight.
Steven: I’m still in. But just to piss you off, I’m going to keep drinking.
Chris: I don’t think that’s going to work.
Steven: You’ll see. I’ll lose just as much weight as you do.
Everyone expected Chris would win.
Steven and Chris ran the half marathon in Las Vegas. They chose Vegas because it was cheap to get to and hosts one of the few races scheduled at the end of the year. Chris won the footrace by a huge margin. By the time Steven wheezed his way across the finish, Chris had been waiting for nearly an hour in the sponsored beer tent. It was not yet 8 a.m. The combination of not drinking for four months and low electrolytes from the race meant that Chris was in rare form. He was happy. He was smiling. He was in love with the whole world. As he cheered Steven across the finish line, strangers edged away.
After the race, shirts came off. Unfortunately, no one thought to take “before” photos. The “after” shots offer no perspective on how far they came, but they do show a couple of guys looking pretty good for their age. They both lost similar amounts of weight in spite of their differing strategies. They both lost a few belt notches. In both cases, the results were outwardly apparent. Friends and family were stunned by their transformations.
Chris unanimously won the flex-off, although several of the judges contend that Chris won largely because he knew how to flex. Chris moved smoothly from pose to pose, showing off his new physique. Steven had spent hours practicing in front of a mirror yet when it came time for competition he pretty much threw his hands up over his head like he was protecting himself from falling objects.
Steven and Chris ran the half marathon in Las Vegas. They chose Vegas because it was cheap to get to and hosts one of the few races scheduled at the end of the year. Chris won the footrace by a huge margin. By the time Steven wheezed his way across the finish, Chris had been waiting for nearly an hour in the sponsored beer tent. It was not yet 8 a.m. The combination of not drinking for four months and low electrolytes from the race meant that Chris was in rare form. He was happy. He was smiling. He was in love with the whole world. As he cheered Steven across the finish line, strangers edged away.
After the race, shirts came off. Unfortunately, no one thought to take “before” photos. The “after” shots offer no perspective on how far they came, but they do show a couple of guys looking pretty good for their age. They both lost similar amounts of weight in spite of their differing strategies. They both lost a few belt notches. In both cases, the results were outwardly apparent. Friends and family were stunned by their transformations.
Chris unanimously won the flex-off, although several of the judges contend that Chris won largely because he knew how to flex. Chris moved smoothly from pose to pose, showing off his new physique. Steven had spent hours practicing in front of a mirror yet when it came time for competition he pretty much threw his hands up over his head like he was protecting himself from falling objects.
Andrea, who is both co-author of this diet and married to Steven, also followed the low-carb, drinking diet over those same four months. Although Andrea didn’t compete in the posedown, she also lost weight. In spite of the fact that Andrea had far less to lose, she emerged from the competition over five pounds lighter.
The diet Steven and Andrea followed evolved into Drink Your Carbs.
Drink Your Carbs began as a joke and turned out to be a surprisingly effective diet. It has been seven years since the shirtless flex-off in Las Vegas and Steven has yet to regain any of the weight he lost. Sure, the hair on top of his head has migrated to his back and shoulders, but he still wears the same sized pants. This is due entirely to Drink Your Carbs.
The diet Steven and Andrea followed evolved into Drink Your Carbs.
Drink Your Carbs began as a joke and turned out to be a surprisingly effective diet. It has been seven years since the shirtless flex-off in Las Vegas and Steven has yet to regain any of the weight he lost. Sure, the hair on top of his head has migrated to his back and shoulders, but he still wears the same sized pants. This is due entirely to Drink Your Carbs.
Fact: Drink Your Carbs is only responsible for Steven’s pants size. The body hair is the fault of his Eastern European ancestry.
A few more photos from the Vegas posedown