What about Gluten and Dairy?
We recently noticed that Frito Lay has been advertising Cheetos as gluten free. We have also seen a proliferation of non-dairy products approximating the color and texture of cheese. Gluten-free and dairy-free foods have become the latest fad in product marketing.
What do we think about this trend? Allow us to answer with a story:
Steven’s sister’s dog, Max, recently ate a microfiber towel. Even among dogs, Max is known for his iron-clad digestive tract. He has successfully passed pillows, candles and most of a large ottoman. But microfiber proved to be too much for him and the towel had to be surgically removed.
What can we learn from Max? Some things are truly dangerous to eat. Microfiber towels are a perfect example. There are experts who argue that wheat and dairy pose a similar danger. We believe that this threat is a tad overstated.
In his book, Dangerous Grains, Dr. James Braley argues that all glutinous grains should be categorized as a poison and stickered with Mr. Yuk. Paleo-diet guru Rob Wolf blames glutinous grains for everything from cancer to schizophrenia and autism.
Dairy has been equally maligned. The far less credentialed authors of the Skinny Bitch diet blame dairy products for everything from arthritis and acne to attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder.
We have enormous respect for two out of four of these authors, but we think that they are all unnecessarily alarmist.
Consider the following analogy: it’s possible to be attacked and killed by a Chihuahua, but this possibility requires a number of very rare circumstances. Wheat, dairy and other glutinous grains pose a similarly specialized threat. If you suffer from Celiac disease or an anaphylactic response to dairy products, these foods truly are dangerous. For the rest of us, they are not microfiber towels.
Andrea cannot tolerate wheat. Even trace amounts make her sick. Occasionally a restaurant will assure her that a dish is gluten free and then use flour to thicken a sauce. It takes about 20 minutes before Andrea knows with absolute certainty that she has been poisoned. Her symptoms are unmistakable. A rash appears on her chest and cheeks that both itches and gives her the ruddy complexion of an aging alcoholic. Her digestion is wrecked. It takes her the better part of a week to eat once again without stomach cramps and to completely lose that W.C. Fields glow.
Just because wheat is bad for Andrea does not make it toxic for the rest of us. Steven eats very little wheat, but when he does he experiences no negative impact whatsoever. Dairy, on the other hand, is Steven’s Kryptonite. It hits him like a low-budget cleanse. Even trace amounts of dairy cause Steven to experience every one of the symptoms listed in the warning labels on Shit Yourself Thin supplements. Andrea, on the other hand, can eat dairy all day with no negative consequences to anything but her calorie count.
What do we think about this trend? Allow us to answer with a story:
Steven’s sister’s dog, Max, recently ate a microfiber towel. Even among dogs, Max is known for his iron-clad digestive tract. He has successfully passed pillows, candles and most of a large ottoman. But microfiber proved to be too much for him and the towel had to be surgically removed.
What can we learn from Max? Some things are truly dangerous to eat. Microfiber towels are a perfect example. There are experts who argue that wheat and dairy pose a similar danger. We believe that this threat is a tad overstated.
In his book, Dangerous Grains, Dr. James Braley argues that all glutinous grains should be categorized as a poison and stickered with Mr. Yuk. Paleo-diet guru Rob Wolf blames glutinous grains for everything from cancer to schizophrenia and autism.
Dairy has been equally maligned. The far less credentialed authors of the Skinny Bitch diet blame dairy products for everything from arthritis and acne to attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder.
We have enormous respect for two out of four of these authors, but we think that they are all unnecessarily alarmist.
Consider the following analogy: it’s possible to be attacked and killed by a Chihuahua, but this possibility requires a number of very rare circumstances. Wheat, dairy and other glutinous grains pose a similarly specialized threat. If you suffer from Celiac disease or an anaphylactic response to dairy products, these foods truly are dangerous. For the rest of us, they are not microfiber towels.
Andrea cannot tolerate wheat. Even trace amounts make her sick. Occasionally a restaurant will assure her that a dish is gluten free and then use flour to thicken a sauce. It takes about 20 minutes before Andrea knows with absolute certainty that she has been poisoned. Her symptoms are unmistakable. A rash appears on her chest and cheeks that both itches and gives her the ruddy complexion of an aging alcoholic. Her digestion is wrecked. It takes her the better part of a week to eat once again without stomach cramps and to completely lose that W.C. Fields glow.
Just because wheat is bad for Andrea does not make it toxic for the rest of us. Steven eats very little wheat, but when he does he experiences no negative impact whatsoever. Dairy, on the other hand, is Steven’s Kryptonite. It hits him like a low-budget cleanse. Even trace amounts of dairy cause Steven to experience every one of the symptoms listed in the warning labels on Shit Yourself Thin supplements. Andrea, on the other hand, can eat dairy all day with no negative consequences to anything but her calorie count.
Fact: Our two-person sample is enough to illustrate that different people have different dietary limitations. If you don’t yet believe us, we have a friend who has no issues with gluten or dairy. Half of a strawberry, however, is more than enough to send him to the emergency room with collapsing airways. Obviously, declaring strawberries hazardous for everyone would be seriously overplaying the threat.
If wheat and dairy aren’t poisonous, why does the Drink Your Carbs Food List place most dairy in the “Limited” category and wheat, along with other glutinous grains, under “Avoid?”
We will address wheat and gluten first. In the end, we agree with Dr. James Braley and Rob Wolf. Wheat should be avoided. This is not because we accept their claim that wheat is inherently evil or that it causes autism. Wheat and other glutinous grains simply pack a huge caloric punch while offering few useful nutrients. They don’t even do a good job satiating hunger. Go to any restaurant and look around. Most people are capable of eating an entire breadbasket without spoiling their dinner. For reasons we do not entirely understand, people seem able to eat limitless quantities of bread without getting full. This would not be possible with carrot sticks and broccoli.
Dairy is more complex because it has more food value. Dairy can be a good source of protein, dietary fat and minerals such as calcium.
We will address wheat and gluten first. In the end, we agree with Dr. James Braley and Rob Wolf. Wheat should be avoided. This is not because we accept their claim that wheat is inherently evil or that it causes autism. Wheat and other glutinous grains simply pack a huge caloric punch while offering few useful nutrients. They don’t even do a good job satiating hunger. Go to any restaurant and look around. Most people are capable of eating an entire breadbasket without spoiling their dinner. For reasons we do not entirely understand, people seem able to eat limitless quantities of bread without getting full. This would not be possible with carrot sticks and broccoli.
Dairy is more complex because it has more food value. Dairy can be a good source of protein, dietary fat and minerals such as calcium.
Fact: We recognize that any discussion of the calcium in dairy is controversial and likely to generate hate mail. Experts are mixed on how much of the calcium in dairy is absorbed by the body. It is possible that we will eventually conclude that dairy has no more bioavailable calcium than a bottle of Bubble Up. It is equally possible that dairy is being unfairly maligned, much like eggs were a decade ago. Science is awesome like that.
Low-carb diets differ dramatically in their approach to dairy products. The Atkins diet encourages dairy in quantities large enough to drown Sir Milkford the Scholar, cartoon spokesman for The National Dairy Council. Moreover, on Atkins, high-fat dairy is preferable to low-fat and non-fat varieties.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is the low-carb Paleo Diet. The idea behind Paleo is to recreate the diet of our distant, hunt-and-gather ancestors. Since Paleolithic man didn’t keep livestock, dairy products are banished from that diet.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is the low-carb Paleo Diet. The idea behind Paleo is to recreate the diet of our distant, hunt-and-gather ancestors. Since Paleolithic man didn’t keep livestock, dairy products are banished from that diet.
Fact: We need to point out that we did not make up Sir Milkford the Scholar. Nor are we now inventing Prince Waffle. If you are a fan of condescending children’s literature and poorly drawn cartoons, you can confirm all of this for yourself in the Resources for Schools section of the National Dairy Council website.
We preach a middle ground on the subject of dairy. Our rule is: enjoy non-fat dairy in Unlimited quantities. All other dairy should be Limited.
This recommendation has nothing to do with fat. The reason higher-fat dairy is categorized in our plan as Limited is due to its sky-high calorie count and the fact that, like bread, it’s a food that is way too easy to overeat.
Andrea, for example, is capable of polishing off an entire eight ounce wheel of Brie over the course of a single day. On the bright side, doing so would provide her 65 grams of protein. The problem is that all of that delicious protein comes wrapped in 1,500 calories. If Andrea instead consumed non-fat cottage cheese, she would need to choke down pounds of the stuff to reach that same number of calories. She simply could not do it. By sticking to non-fat dairy, you get more food while consuming fewer calories.
This recommendation has nothing to do with fat. The reason higher-fat dairy is categorized in our plan as Limited is due to its sky-high calorie count and the fact that, like bread, it’s a food that is way too easy to overeat.
Andrea, for example, is capable of polishing off an entire eight ounce wheel of Brie over the course of a single day. On the bright side, doing so would provide her 65 grams of protein. The problem is that all of that delicious protein comes wrapped in 1,500 calories. If Andrea instead consumed non-fat cottage cheese, she would need to choke down pounds of the stuff to reach that same number of calories. She simply could not do it. By sticking to non-fat dairy, you get more food while consuming fewer calories.
Fact: No matter how you slice it, two pieces of bread (wheat or white) total roughly 140 calories. Two square inches of Brie - no one limits themselves to such a small portion, but we will use that number because that is a single serving according to a package we read at the grocery store - is around 200 calories. A couple of pieces of bread and a slice of Brie deliver more calories than half bottle of wine. This is an exchange that no Drink Your Carbs adherent would consider reasonable.
For anyone concerned about the health of Max the dog, he recently ate and successfully passed a rubber spatula. He is doing fine.