The Drink Your Carbs Blog: A Blog For Dieters Who Don’t Want To Give Up Alcohol

Just In Time For Halloween: Nightmare Mode

10/11/2016

Our original plan for this week was to hop on the Hipster Express and review well-known diets for their compatibility with the zombie lifestyle. This sounded more fun that it turned out to be. The problem is that zombies are mono-foodists. They consume the flesh of the living and, like the French, particularly enjoy the delicacy of brains. Neither sweets nor grains hold any interest for them. Zombies appear have the same aversion to fruits and vegetables that vegans have to the traditional zombie diet.

A dreary list of diets that allow organ meats is probably enough to headline the humor section of the Huffington Post, but we have higher standards.

Recipe: Easy Black Beans

8/15/2016

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Long before marrying Andrea, Steven dated a Cuban girl from Miami. It was a typical college relationship. They were madly in love within days and broken up less than six months later. The relationship had all the hallmarks of an old-fashioned melodrama. Every emotion was amplified by the inexperience and hormones of youth. After the breakup, the girl sacrificed a live chicken in order to curse Steven in a Santeria ritual. Steven probably deserved the curse; he had a tendency to crack inappropriate jokes at times when no words should be spoken. The chicken, however, was completely innocent.

It turns out that, for Steven, a cursed life is largely indistinguishable from a lucky one. Even that crazy relationship turned out to be a lucky break. Out of the wreckage, Steven managed to salvage the girl’s family recipe for traditional Cuban black beans. Over the past 20 years, Andrea has taken that recipe, and, as she’s prone to do, both simplified and perfected it.

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Recipe: Raw Kale Salad

7/15/2016

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Before dating Andrea, Steven lived on ramen noodles and Taco Bell. Friends can vouch for the fact that he would occasionally eat at Taco Bell twice in the same day. He maintained a Costco membership solely to purchase ramen by the carload. On the rare occasions he craved vegetables, he headed over to a buck-a-scoop Chinese place for a version of beef with broccoli that likely contained as much MSG as broccoli.

Steven did not even know that kale was edible. He had never actually seen anyone eat it. He thought it was only used to garnish salad bars. He avoided salad bars at all cost. To Steven’s pre-Andrea way of thinking, salad was for losers.

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Walking And Running Burn The Same Calories Per Mile, Or Do They?

6/28/2016

Walking and running burn the same number of calories per mile. It is an oft repeated mantra that we have all heard thousands of times. This idea is rooted in eighth-grade physics, specifically the equation “work = force x distance.”

For those who were distracted or otherwise missed that lecture, the point is that it takes a defined amount of energy to move a body of mass over a measured distance. The speed of the object is not taken into account. Therefore, running and walking should require the same amount of energy to cover the same distance.

This is usually presented as great news for walkers. “Take a stroll around the block,” the thinking goes. “It’ll burn just as many calories mile for mile as if you sprinted it.” The only problem with this doctrine is that it is absolutely not true.

Ode to Harold the Cow

3/28/2016

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“Do you want to meet Harold?” We were visiting our friends Chris and Kati in Petaluma, California. The question came as we were finishing a tour of the farm on which they live.

“Who’s Harold?” Andrea asked.

“He’s a cow our landlord is raising. Any interest in going into the meadow to feed him apples? He’ll take them right out of your hand.”

“Sure.” Anyone who was raised on a farm has already recognized the stupidity of our answer.

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It’s Official: Drinkers Outlive Non-Drinkers

3/15/2016

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When did science become public enemy number one? Every time a study is published, politicians and public figures emerge to question the new data. “I’m not a scientist,” they customarily begin. “But this new data must be wrong because it contradicts one of my childhood beliefs.”

We hold a very different attitude: When data contradict our beliefs, we lean towards the data. If the data are compelling enough, we will abandon our previously held beliefs. In other words, if your beliefs crash headlong into reality, it is unlikely that reality is the problem.

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Can a website have that new car smell?

3/10/2016

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To celebrate the launch of our new website, The Drink Your Carbs eBook is free for the next two weeks.

There are, however, caveats. The eBook is only free from iTunes, Google Play, Smashwords and Kobo. It’s $0.99 on Amazon and Barnes & Noble because that is the lowest price we are allowed charge.

So grab your free copy. This is a great chance to try out a few of the less-popular eReader formats.

Get it free on:
Google | iTunes | Kobo | Smashwords
or pay Amazon or Barnes & Noble $0.99

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Good News: 92% Of New Years Resolutions Crash And Burn

1/5/2016

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According to Forbes Magazine, only 8% of Americans achieve the goals set in their New Years resolutions. Every one else fails, bombs, flops, nosedives or otherwise falls short of their own expectations. Forbes presents this as bad news.

The mere fact that 92% of New Years resolutions fail presents the very solution for anyone who desires to make personal changes in the new year. Look at it this way: if you design your resolutions such that failing would result in your betterment, the odds suddenly shift into you favor. This is beauty of math about which mathematicians prattle endlessly.

Allow us to offer a few personal examples. This year, we resolved to start smoking, exercise less and dramatically increase our sugar intake. As we have mentioned, we have only an 8% chance of meeting these goals. Or, if you prefer, we have a 92% chance of finding ourselves at the end of 2016 having eaten well, exercised constantly and, once again, failed to pick up a cigarette dependency.

We all simply need to skew our goals such that failure is the preferred outcome. We can’t promise 100% success, but 92% is still beyond the wildest dream of the greediest gambler.

This year may your headwind be strong and your obstacles great. We hope that you fail miserably and become a fitter, happier and healthier person as a result.

Happy New Year from all of us at DYC.

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Praise for the Drink Your Carbs Book

12/30/2015

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“Are you excited that the book is done?” We were asked this question a thousand times after the book was published.

“Of course,” we lied. The truth was too embarrassing to admit. The only emotion we felt was dread. When you release a book, you lose control. We like the book. We think it’s funny. But it was possible that everyone else would find it Old Yeller depressing. You never know how people will react; if you don’t believe us, ask anyone who has a Twitter account.

Aside from one, “Stop trying to take away my Fruity Pebbles, Haters!” the reactions have been overwhelmingly positive. Allow us to share a few of the responses we’ve received:

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The Amaro Cocktail

10/2/2015

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The first time we tasted Amaro was in Florence, Italy more than 20 years ago. Andrea pointed to a strange looking bottle on a high shelf in a small restaurant and asked, “What is that?”

The waiter rolled his eyes, “That is for old Italian men.”

Andrea didn’t miss a beat. “Perfect. We’ll have two served however the old men drink it.”

Our drinks arrived straight up in dessert wine glasses. They were the color of long-neglected motor oil. They tasted like a mishmash of vanilla, caramel, juniper berries, peppermint and Vicks VapoRub. If we believed in past lives we might claim that we were once old Italian men because we fell instantly in love.

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Forward>>

Just In Time For Halloween: Nightmare Mode

Recipe: Easy Black Beans

Recipe: Raw Kale Salad

Walking And Running Burn The Same Calories Per Mile, Or Do They?

Ode to Harold the Cow

It’s Official: Drinkers Outlive Non-Drinkers

Can a website have that new car smell?

Good News: 92% Of New Years Resolutions Crash And Burn

Praise for the Drink Your Carbs Book

The Amaro Cocktail

Read the Book for $0.99

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Read the Book for $0.99

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