Before dating Andrea, Steven lived on ramen noodles and Taco Bell. Friends can vouch for the fact that he would occasionally eat at Taco Bell twice in the same day. He maintained a Costco membership solely to purchase ramen by the carload. On the rare occasions he craved vegetables, he headed over to a buck-a-scoop Chinese place for a version of beef with broccoli that likely contained as much MSG as broccoli.
Steven did not even know that kale was edible. He had never actually seen anyone eat it. He thought it was only used to garnish salad bars. He avoided salad bars at all cost. To Steven’s pre-Andrea way of thinking, salad was for losers.
Steven did not even know that kale was edible. He had never actually seen anyone eat it. He thought it was only used to garnish salad bars. He avoided salad bars at all cost. To Steven’s pre-Andrea way of thinking, salad was for losers.
Andrea taught Steven that kale is delicious. The first time she cooked it was an epiphany. It not only tasted great, it made Steven feel good as well. He had no idea that food could make him feel anything more than full, that it could leave him physically nourished, happy and energetic. When your favorite foods are Nachos Bell Grande and Cup-O-Noodle, the nourishing quality of food is not an observation you have an opportunity to make.
Fact: There are a few tricks, but prepared properly, the garnish can be the tastiest thing on the salad bar.
Raw Kale Salad Recipe
Ingredients:
- 2 to 3 heads of dino (or lacinato) kale. (Smaller leaves are better for salad. We recommend cooking larger kale, but when you come across bunches with small leaves, this recipe is the way to go.)
- 1 ripe avocado
- 2 tbsp. champagne vinegar
- 4 ½ tbsp. extra virgin olive oil (more if you prefer less vinegary salad dressing.)
- 2 tbsp. lemon juice
- 1 tsp. Salt
- Pepper
Method:
- Wash and de-stem the kale. There are many ways to remove the stems. Andrea’s preferred method involves grasping a leaf by the thickest part of the stem and wrapping her other hand tightly around the bottom of the leaf. She then pulls both hands apart in a motion that could best be described as conspicuously sexual. If you do this correctly, one hand will end up holding a naked stem and the other a handful of de-stemed kale.
- Steven uses a more technical method. He carefully tears each leaf from the stem in perfect, unbroken strips. Both work. A knife works as well. You can leave in the stem at the top of the leaf from the point where it‘s less than 2mm thick.
- Tear the prepared kale into salad sized bites and toss it into a salad bowl.
- Add 1 tbsp. of the lemon juice and 1 tsp. of kosher salt. (Regular salt will work, just use a bit less as kosher salt is slightly less salty.)
- Massage the kale. Squeeze and crunch the kale with your hands. Attack your kale like a kid kneading a brand new canister of Play-Doh. The kale will gradually change color to a darker green. It takes a few minutes, but the color will change.
- When the kale is uniform dark green, it’s time for another massage, this time with ¼ of a ripe avocado. Once again, the goal is to mash the avocado until it coats the kale like a dressing. Let the avocado/kale mixture sit at room temperature for about 10 minutes. (The lemon will keep the avocado from turning brown. Also, the acidity in the lemon does to the kale what lime juice does to ceviche; it creates a chemical change similar to cooking.)
- While you’re waiting, this is an excellent time to prepare the dressing.
- Mix the following in a bowl and whisk it until it thickens:
- 2 tbsp. champagne vinegar
- 4 ½ tbsp. olive oil
- 1 tbsp. lemon juice
- Dress the kale with 2-3 tbsp. of the dressing. (We tend to prefer lighter dressing, but this is a preference you are welcome to override.) Add a little more salt and the pepper to taste.
- Garnish with avocado slices.
- Toasted pine nuts and/or roasted almonds also make great additions.
- Serve immediately.
On rare occasions, we see kale salad on a restaurant menu. We always order it and we’re usually disappointed. Most restaurants use sickly sweet dressings to cover kale’s natural bitterness rather than massage the bitterness out. Massaging kale takes time, but if you try this recipe we think you’ll agree it yields superior results.
Fact: It has been nearly 10 years since Steven last ate Taco Bell. He has had ramen more recently, but only because we recently visited Japan and toured the Ramen Museum in Yokohama. For those who are wondering, fresh Japanese ramen has about as much in common with Cup-O-Noodles as a can of FourLoko has in common with a proper pint of British ale.
