We typically write about alcohol, diet and lifestyle. Not today. Today we go jazz, lose our fear of playing the wrong notes and put our crazy on public display.
Today’s topic:
The machines are going to kill us all.
Today’s topic:
The machines are going to kill us all.
Stephen Hawking, Elon Musk and Bill Gates have all gone on record recently about the dangers of emerging artificial intelligence. If computers gain consciousness, they warn, the future could quickly veer from Star Trek to Terminator.
None of these gentlemen laid out a solution, but presumably they will now try to delay the inevitable by working less hard and releasing buggier products.
We disagree with their fear mongering. It’s far too mild. It’s too little, too late. The apocalypse they dread has already arrived.
None of these gentlemen laid out a solution, but presumably they will now try to delay the inevitable by working less hard and releasing buggier products.
We disagree with their fear mongering. It’s far too mild. It’s too little, too late. The apocalypse they dread has already arrived.
Some people prefer term “singularity” to describe the awakening of artificial intelligence. We assume that this event will be referred to as either the e-pocalypse or i-pocalypse once we figure out the underlying operating system of our new, digital overlords.
It’s too late to stop the machines. The best you can do is to drink the top out of your bar and/or wine cellar before they cut the power. Here’s our evidence:
Our favorite restaurant in San Francisco is State Bird Provisions. State Bird serves Asian-influenced California cuisine as dum sum. Carts and trays circulate through the restaurant. You choose the dishes you want and your server marks your card. The food is French Laundry refined, but the carts and trays give it an air of goofiness and an atmosphere that is joyously informal. San Francisco is bursting with great restaurants and we strongly believe that State Bird tops them all.
The machines clearly agree. State Bird reservations for two months out come available each night at midnight. They are gone within seconds. We have sat with the State Bird website open, finger poised on the mouse. Nonetheless, we have been unable to score a reservation for the past several months. Every reservation—including blue-hair early and vampire-late—is taken before we click.
The explanation is simple. The same high-frequency trading algorithms that hedge funds use to sneak in front of your stock trades and screw you on price are now being employed to secure reservations. At first, we viewed this as a mere annoyance. Then, as the fight dragged on night after night, one question became inescapable:
Our favorite restaurant in San Francisco is State Bird Provisions. State Bird serves Asian-influenced California cuisine as dum sum. Carts and trays circulate through the restaurant. You choose the dishes you want and your server marks your card. The food is French Laundry refined, but the carts and trays give it an air of goofiness and an atmosphere that is joyously informal. San Francisco is bursting with great restaurants and we strongly believe that State Bird tops them all.
The machines clearly agree. State Bird reservations for two months out come available each night at midnight. They are gone within seconds. We have sat with the State Bird website open, finger poised on the mouse. Nonetheless, we have been unable to score a reservation for the past several months. Every reservation—including blue-hair early and vampire-late—is taken before we click.
The explanation is simple. The same high-frequency trading algorithms that hedge funds use to sneak in front of your stock trades and screw you on price are now being employed to secure reservations. At first, we viewed this as a mere annoyance. Then, as the fight dragged on night after night, one question became inescapable:
How can we expect to compete with the machines for control of our future when we can’t even outcompete them for a dinner reservation?
We cannot. The battle was lost before it was even fought.
It’s also worth mentioning that while we believe that Hawking and Gates were sincere—albeit late—in their warnings, we question the motives of Elon Musk. The sheer number of Teslas parked in front of State Bird makes us suspicious as to whose side he’s on.
It’s also worth mentioning that while we believe that Hawking and Gates were sincere—albeit late—in their warnings, we question the motives of Elon Musk. The sheer number of Teslas parked in front of State Bird makes us suspicious as to whose side he’s on.
