When we first heard the names SOPA and PIPA, we assumed they were the protagonists in a series of children’s books. We couldn’t understand why so many techies we admire would be up in arms against SOPA And PIPA Go To The Circus. Although we could understand why Tim Cook would be troubled by SOPA And PIPA Visit A Rural Chinese iPhone Sweatshop. As with so many things in life, it turned out we were entirely wrong.
SOPA and PIPA are schemes devised by the same geniuses that once described the Internet as a “series of tubes” to turn the Internet into a gladiatorial battle between corporate legal departments. If you lack a corporate legal department, you are, for all practical purposes, the guy in the gimp suit from the basement scene in Pulp Fiction. Best of luck proving your innocence when Disney comes after you under the guise of a copyright violation, even though their real reason for silencing you is your tweet: “Mickey Mouse spreads hantavirus.”
SOPA and PIPA are schemes devised by the same geniuses that once described the Internet as a “series of tubes” to turn the Internet into a gladiatorial battle between corporate legal departments. If you lack a corporate legal department, you are, for all practical purposes, the guy in the gimp suit from the basement scene in Pulp Fiction. Best of luck proving your innocence when Disney comes after you under the guise of a copyright violation, even though their real reason for silencing you is your tweet: “Mickey Mouse spreads hantavirus.”
We take Internet censorship very seriously. We often use copyrighted terms in order to make larger points. But the last thing we want is to be arguing “Fair Use” after our site has been shut down and Smoke Your Carbs has stolen all of our traffic. We also accept users comments, which under SOPA and PIPA will be more responsibility than having children. We try to quickly delete Spam as soon as it is posted some it occasionally gets through. The last thing we need is to be fully responsible for the actions of some idiot Spammer we have never met.
Note: If Congress is desperate to show that they are involved with and in control of the Internet, we have a suggestion. They can authorize the use of unmanned drones to track down and kill the idiot who posts upwards of a dozen spam messages to our blog comments every single day. Some might argue that extrajudicial killing is an extreme response to a problem that wastes roughly 30 seconds on an average day. We argue that it’s no more extreme than what Congress is currently trying to do.
Wikipedia went dark today in opposition to these bills. Anyone looking to cheat in a barroom trivia contest is pretty well screwed. We considered going dark as well but decided instead to hijack our own blog for the purpose of speaking out to Congress. We say: until you cede this effort we will be Jello Biafra to your Tipper Gore.
Allow us to share an excerpt from our favorite book in the series, SOPA and PIPA School Congress: “If you can’t change your email password without help from your grandchildren, you have no business making decisions on the fate of the Internet.”
Allow us to share an excerpt from our favorite book in the series, SOPA and PIPA School Congress: “If you can’t change your email password without help from your grandchildren, you have no business making decisions on the fate of the Internet.”
