The best thing about the Mayan apocalypse is that there is no point in preparing for it. This is the lazy man’s Y2K. For those too young to remember, Y2K was when computers threatened, at the stroke of midnight in the year 2000, to prank us by giving us the wrong time. This sounds silly in retrospect, but at the time people were terrified to the point of hoarding canned food.
In the case of the Mayan apocalypse, hoarding is exactly the wrong strategy. After all, if the entire planet is reduced to a smoldering cinder, your stockpile of MREs and ammunition will do you no good. If the Earth is doomed, consuming is the smart move. To that end, we’ve been drinking the top end out of our wine cellar.
In the case of the Mayan apocalypse, hoarding is exactly the wrong strategy. After all, if the entire planet is reduced to a smoldering cinder, your stockpile of MREs and ammunition will do you no good. If the Earth is doomed, consuming is the smart move. To that end, we’ve been drinking the top end out of our wine cellar.
Our advice is, between now and December 21st—the day that the earth is set to expire—go ahead and open that bottle you’ve been saving. Pop the cork on that bottle of champagne you received as a wedding gift. Start doing shots from the irreplaceable bottle of Scotch you brought back from your trip. Stop hoarding your last bottle of home brew. And, if you have a wine cellar, now is the time to abuse it like a broken vending machine.
You needed an excuse and now you have one. For the next four weeks, live every day as though planet Nibiru is soon going to collide with the earth and send us spiraling into the sun. (Feel free to Google it. We did not make this up.)
We have read the NASA press release stating that there is no evidence of a pending apocalypse. We do give weight to their analysis since they are the same people who landed a rover the size of a Toyota pickup truck on the surface of the planet Mars. They do know a little about science.
On the other hand, famed scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson recently tweeted that he was drinking a very expensive bottle of wine from Burgundy, specifically a 1958 Jaboulet-Vercherre Volnay Santenots Cuvee Jehan de Massol. As far as we can tell, this bottle is not currently available for sale anywhere in the world. We therefor cannot quote an exact price, but it’s a safe bet that the bottle would retail north of $1000. This has to represent the top echelon of Dr. deGrasse Tyson’s cellar. Clearly, he is implementing our ‘drink that bottle’ plan.
So your choice is simple: listen to what the scientific community has to say or watch how they actually behave. In other words, if you have a bottle of Burgundy from the late 1950s, now appears to be an excellent time to drink it. Cheers from all of us at Drink Your Carbs.
You needed an excuse and now you have one. For the next four weeks, live every day as though planet Nibiru is soon going to collide with the earth and send us spiraling into the sun. (Feel free to Google it. We did not make this up.)
We have read the NASA press release stating that there is no evidence of a pending apocalypse. We do give weight to their analysis since they are the same people who landed a rover the size of a Toyota pickup truck on the surface of the planet Mars. They do know a little about science.
On the other hand, famed scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson recently tweeted that he was drinking a very expensive bottle of wine from Burgundy, specifically a 1958 Jaboulet-Vercherre Volnay Santenots Cuvee Jehan de Massol. As far as we can tell, this bottle is not currently available for sale anywhere in the world. We therefor cannot quote an exact price, but it’s a safe bet that the bottle would retail north of $1000. This has to represent the top echelon of Dr. deGrasse Tyson’s cellar. Clearly, he is implementing our ‘drink that bottle’ plan.
So your choice is simple: listen to what the scientific community has to say or watch how they actually behave. In other words, if you have a bottle of Burgundy from the late 1950s, now appears to be an excellent time to drink it. Cheers from all of us at Drink Your Carbs.
