Exiting a subway car in Hong Kong during rush hour is as close as we will ever come to the experience of Coho Salmon swimming upstream to spawn. The train doors open and a wall of people rush in. If you want off before the final stop, your only option is to lower your head and power forward into the wave. Above all else, never stop moving. If you stall, even momentarily, the momentum of workers desperate to get home from work will drag you back onto the train. Perhaps a better analogy would be defeating the pass rush of the Baltimore Ravens.
“Lose weight while eating ten slices of bread a day.” As unbelievable as it sounds, this is current dietary advice being pedaled by the US Department of Agriculture.
To be fair, this specific recommendation was made for Steven who weighs 185 pounds. Andrea weighs considerably less, so she only gets 9 slices of bread per day.
Over 15 years ago, we visited the Galapagos Islands. Anyone who has studied Charles Darwin knows that these islands can have a strong and lasting impact on a young mind. Our trip lasted seven days. To this day, we show our affection for one another by performing the mating dance of the blue-footed booby.
We hate getting notifications of website policy changes. Invariably, these updates inform us of new rules allowing the sale our names, addresses and credit card numbers to the Russian mafia. We assure you these are not the types of changes we are planning.
Drink Your Carbs launched in December of 2011. Since that time we’ve received a ton of feedback. We’ve been called everything from geniuses to morons. We’ve also fielded countless question on topics ranging from diet sodas and ranch dressing to whether knitting counts towards exercise. Through all of the inquiries we’ve received, however, one question has never been asked: How much alcohol is too much?
We received no fewer than thirty year-end offers for diets, cleanses and gym memberships. They arrived by email, Twitter, Facebook and even in the form of old-fashioned mail. Each one promised to make us thinner and fitter in the New Year as long as we were willing to part with a credit card number. We have no idea how many of these came from legitimate businesses. Most of the pitches carried the desperate air of a letter from a Nigerian Prince: “I need a little money up front, but I only have you best interests in mind.”
At DYC, we do things differently. We start each year by spending 30 days in Austerity Mode. Anyone is welcome to join us. No purchase is necessary.
We were so certain about the future that we planned our year without an escape hatch or lifeboat. The world then spoiled our plans by refusing to stop existing. Now that the apocalypse has failed to materialize, we have no choice but to produce a Top 5 list.
Steven grew up terrified of Santa. Each Christmas Eve, while other children were unable to sleep with excitement, Steven prepared his room like a medieval castle awaiting a siege. After his door was shut tight, he sealed the crack along the bottom with a rolled up towel. Then, he piled pillows and stuffed animals into a barricade. Before anyone could get near him, they would have to get through, Doggy, Banky, Wampus and a dozen other toys standing guard.